tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post8616252828917171678..comments2023-04-15T05:47:49.478-05:00Comments on J. R. Nova: The Dangers of FriendshipAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04454406837183787620noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-28879651417163643862012-06-09T09:02:19.700-05:002012-06-09T09:02:19.700-05:00Hey J.R. Sorry to hear about how things went south...Hey J.R. Sorry to hear about how things went south. Friendship is such a complicated thing. People say that how we socialize says a lot about ourselves, but I think friendships help us to grow in a lot of ways, too. Particularly in terms of social intelligence. <br /><br />I found some interesting information on the Confucian concept of friendship as a relationship involving fidelity, or loyalty, as well as joy, or enjoyment. Which says a lot to me about abusive friendships - they are not true friendships at all. Sort of helps put a lot of our personal relationships into perspective, lol.<br /><br />Anyways, I meant to make this post ages ago, sorry it took me so long. Cheers!Reincarnatenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-22172254537254749982012-03-18T23:43:12.592-05:002012-03-18T23:43:12.592-05:00I can relate. I've had friends like that as we...I can relate. I've had friends like that as well and it's always a painful realization when you have to let them go. I used to be the one that always had to initiate everything if I wanted them to hang out with me. I was always the one expending the effort and then when they saw others they would rather hang out with they ditched me - until they had a blow up with their preferred friends then they come calling me. I put up with a lot of nonsense when I was young. Stuff I wouldn't dream of doing now.<br /><br />Great post.Victoriahttp://pencilword.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-81430988227085843272012-03-17T01:16:55.081-05:002012-03-17T01:16:55.081-05:00Sad, but when there is disrespect from a friend it...Sad, but when there is disrespect from a friend its better that an incident put you apart now than later. In some cases we must avoid hitting ourselves for our ords for when we see clearly that "it is the other who has a problem not our words in which they see a problem" Wish you better friends :) I too have known friends for whom we do a lot and then they are desrespectful and not care for us when we need them. It is always better to have shed off such friendships although the events leading to it may hurt for long. <br />Time heals. Btw check this out. might be useful next time ;) http://jerlyt.blogspot.in/2012/02/power-of-silence.htmlJerlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13897355836151249751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-72147345734291881412012-03-16T08:00:57.726-05:002012-03-16T08:00:57.726-05:00Sometimes it hurts very much when a dear friend be...Sometimes it hurts very much when a dear friend becomes cross for no reason at all and inspite of much proding she doesn't tell the reason.Oh, it is such a punishment! Dear Nova,your article tells much more than its words.<br />-PortiaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-25892571573071396582012-03-16T01:43:20.344-05:002012-03-16T01:43:20.344-05:00I guess some people absolutley 'love' to b...I guess some people absolutley 'love' to be portrayed as a victim and thus trying to wallow in self-pity. On and off in my life, such people have crossed my path and it becomes extremely toxic in their presence. Sometimes I think that one is better off without such people. <br /><br />Joy always,<br />SusanS. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-31466723494860470342012-03-15T16:43:13.665-05:002012-03-15T16:43:13.665-05:00It'd be good if we humans could all get on the...It'd be good if we humans could all get on the same page ;)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04454406837183787620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-54800102844160013982012-03-15T16:29:47.015-05:002012-03-15T16:29:47.015-05:00Hi mate I have had relationships the same, I have ...Hi mate I have had relationships the same, I have been like some giant sponge for their emotional backage, stress and woes but when the tables turn and I need help different story!baldychazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09781208165930562253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-90719140498243568212012-03-15T12:55:32.416-05:002012-03-15T12:55:32.416-05:00thanks Craig, but I'm not sad about it at all....thanks Craig, but I'm not sad about it at all...any of it...I believe because I faced the problem instead of running/ignoring them, I came out a better person. I would never have met my wife if I never went homeless, same could be said about my current friends...who also push me in my writing when that idiot stalker, or pressure to please start to make me doubt myself..A. M. Sawyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17446482536462975201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-88424969685573522792012-03-15T12:11:12.740-05:002012-03-15T12:11:12.740-05:00Well, sometimes things are meant to be the way the...Well, sometimes things are meant to be the way they are for a reason. It's sad to hear you had a bad experience with the old friend.Craig Janssenhttp://netflames-rpg-bunker.us/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-47468953310775797402012-03-15T00:50:47.751-05:002012-03-15T00:50:47.751-05:00I've been through this,too and sometimes frien...I've been through this,too and sometimes friends will surprise you and it is better to cut your losses. Sorry this happened. It is really nice that you understand it more than him and that you still look at him as a friend. You have a kind heart! I think a good friendship that is lasting is sometimes hard to find, but they do exist. I have a couple of friends who live far away and even though it has been years, the internet just keeps us always in contact and when we meet in person, it is just like yesterday. JR, it might be tough now, but I know that down the road you will one day find something even better and more fulfilling. Take care!Lena Winfrey Hayathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14897692630733792007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-50545458431080496742012-03-14T21:14:49.926-05:002012-03-14T21:14:49.926-05:00The only thing you can do is to be the kind of fri...The only thing you can do is to be the kind of friend you would like to have. If the friend can't do the same, it is sad but there is nothing you can do. You can't go back into the past. All you can do is try to catch up to the present. I'm sorry for this loss but I see nothing more you could have possibly done.Anna L. Wallshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00144458783329501190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-62911214123404045242012-03-14T21:14:25.810-05:002012-03-14T21:14:25.810-05:00I think it's not bad at all..
there is no poi...I think it's not bad at all.. <br />there is no point in remembering bad memories and grousing and squawking every now n then. <br /><br />Its a hard time.. but it shall pass.. <br />don't be too hard on yourself.Jyoti Mishrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01794675170127168298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-7006622877812551032012-03-14T21:12:27.306-05:002012-03-14T21:12:27.306-05:00I haven't read all of the comments here, but I...I haven't read all of the comments here, but I did read your post. What do I have to say? In my humble opinion you have made your apologies at every juncture; there is little else you can do, I am sure that your apologies were genuine. It is difficult to lose friends no matter how it occurs, being a sponge for all their dysfunctions is not friendship; it is being a doormat so to speak. I feel you can walk with your head held high knowing that you have been all you could be in this case. You are honest and true to yourself J.R. that is where you need to be. <br />I hate to see you hurt JR, my thoughts are with you. <3photos by janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04931922143998773384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-74833680137101615282012-03-14T21:04:54.111-05:002012-03-14T21:04:54.111-05:00Haha, yes. It makes sense. You're welcome. I&#...Haha, yes. It makes sense. You're welcome. I'm glad you wrote this (I know I'm not the only one now).<br /><br />I find that rekindling old relationships usually don't work out too well. Perhaps it's time for us all to 'close the book' and move towards a brighter future.Ashley O.http://proverbsnwisdom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-71935710436973032472012-03-14T21:02:08.817-05:002012-03-14T21:02:08.817-05:00Thank you for the kind words, Ashley.
Funny thing...Thank you for the kind words, Ashley.<br /><br />Funny thing is (maybe not so funny, but true) that now I've struck out on every single friend I've tried to get back in touch with. I know and keep in touch with only one person I knew when I was younger, a guy from high school who, I think, is probably more like me than anyone else I ever knew, but we've never really been "out of touch" but for a few months here and there. I think I can close the book on my past and move forward...<br /><br />I'm getting a bit tired, I hope that above paragraph makes sense :DAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04454406837183787620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-55333920769370481492012-03-14T20:57:21.040-05:002012-03-14T20:57:21.040-05:00Wow, this is wonderfully written. I like your blog...Wow, this is wonderfully written. I like your blog and it is only my first visit! It was encouraging reading this though. It is difficult to lose a childhood friend. I've had this happen to me and I think when we try to rekindle old relationships, we have to take into account they are the same person, but changed. We have to enter the relationship open-minded because we never know if it will work out as it did before.<br /><br />And although it is never easy to let someone go, I believe at that time and in that moment, your friend was perfect for you in your life. Now that you have grown and gained wisdom, there will be others who will be perfect for you at this time. If in some way life allows your and your friend's road to cross, great. However, if that never happens again you can live with confidence that you tried all you could and while it lasted, it was great.Ashley O.http://proverbsnwisdom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-91036313237473039532012-03-14T20:57:04.974-05:002012-03-14T20:57:04.974-05:00But then it's kind of like thinking he's d...But then it's kind of like thinking he's dead, isn't it? I've thought a lot about preserving old memories, and that's kind of how it feels to me...not saying that's bad.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04454406837183787620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-10362933407406690212012-03-14T20:56:02.368-05:002012-03-14T20:56:02.368-05:00That's a lesson I learned a long time ago. It ...That's a lesson I learned a long time ago. It kept me out of a lot of trouble in high school and after. I've seen others get into and stay in bad relationships and friendships because they were afraid to move on.<br /><br />Thanks for stopping by, Sean :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04454406837183787620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-22949642009928983422012-03-14T20:54:29.292-05:002012-03-14T20:54:29.292-05:00That sounds like a good term for it, Mari!That sounds like a good term for it, Mari!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04454406837183787620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-31210687913113763632012-03-14T20:22:39.716-05:002012-03-14T20:22:39.716-05:00I know that's tough, but honestly, life's ...I know that's tough, but honestly, life's too short for shitty "friendships." Hang in there, amigo.seanhtaylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04904457463544311851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-33779506604288569722012-03-14T20:10:13.025-05:002012-03-14T20:10:13.025-05:00loosing a friend specially childhood ones is not a...loosing a friend specially childhood ones is not an easy deal.. but sometimes the relation get so strained that its better to shut it off.. and move on...<br />even when u don't feel like doing it, u have to. <br /><br />its better to leave him with lots of good memories rather than spoiling all with more bad ones.. !!Jyoti Mishrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01794675170127168298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-46215915694644247122012-03-14T18:56:01.298-05:002012-03-14T18:56:01.298-05:00I'm sorry for your lost friendship. It's ...I'm sorry for your lost friendship. It's a you can't go home again syndrome.Mari Collierhttp://www.maricollier.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-46949563208480371472012-03-14T08:30:28.659-05:002012-03-14T08:30:28.659-05:00That's very sad about being a pet project. I k...That's very sad about being a pet project. I know people I like to help when they're in trouble, but I never look at them like that. They're humans!<br /><br />Psychology heals all wounds :P<br /><br />I don't hold out hope that he'll ever contact me again. I wasn't high on his priorities list before this, I really doubt I'll be after. That's okay though.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04454406837183787620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-29890444811785832762012-03-14T08:27:42.296-05:002012-03-14T08:27:42.296-05:00I agree, it's best to find out if someone is R...I agree, it's best to find out if someone is REALLY trying to be mean to us before we lose it, but if we can avoid losing it despite that, we're better for it. Hard to do sometimes...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04454406837183787620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4891001968149686306.post-88920917326153833552012-03-13T23:15:38.643-05:002012-03-13T23:15:38.643-05:00Thank you!
And it is very complex. I remember as ...Thank you!<br /><br />And it is very complex. I remember as a kid saying to my best friends, "oh, a guy will never get in between us, we'll be friends for life! Forever and ever!"<br />But when we're young, we really don't know how long forever really is. Back then I thought 30 year olds were really, really old people. Now I am 30... Who would I rather have around now? My forever friend from school or my husband?<br /><br />I feel sorry for those people that are the toxic friends, in a way. I had a friend before I met my hubby who I was very close to. It wasn't until I met hubby that I realized I wasn't her friend, I was her "pet project." She had thought I was a pretty pathetic person, socially inept, totally unfashionable, and someone she could adopt and change. It wasn't until I got away from her that I realized how toxic she was to me, she was trying to make me into someone I wasn't.<br /><br />Time heals all wounds, I suppose. We've all had that friend we really wanted to be friends with for all time, but time here is a lot longer than we think, and sometimes friends can be terrible. It's best to cut them off before they use you, or try to change you into someone you're not. <br /><br />Perhaps years from now he'll come back and apologize for what a jerk he was, after he's had a chance to grow up. Then you can forgive him and renew a friendship.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09456085567756759211noreply@blogger.com